The Monster doesn’t drink soda (or pop if like him you are from the Midwest). No Coke, no Pepsi, no 7-Up or Slice or Fanta or Mountain Dew or Mr. Pibb or Fresca or Dr. Pepper or Tab (if Tab even still exists). The Monster could pretend it’s because soda is most likely the single biggest reason we’re mired in a nation of obesity, heart attacks and low expectations.
But that’s not it. The Monster doesn’t drink soda because of Jolt Cola.