The Monster does not eat mushrooms. The Monster has never eaten mushrooms (well, there was college…). According to Wikipedia (the source for everything) mushrooms are the “fleshy, spore-bearing fruiting body of a fungus.” Reason alone The Monster believes not to eat these filthy little beasts.
On Facebook (the other source for everything) there is a page devoted to those who believe “Mushrooms Are Evil.” There are ninety-nine members. Somebody in Edinburgh took the time to start the site. The Monster did not join. However, The Monster did look at every person who did join and believes they are compatriots in a war against morels and puffballs and truffles.