Category Archives: Meat

WHY THE MONSTER DOESN’T EAT MEAT…

Around the age of fourteen The Monster began to dabble in things he probably shouldn’t have.  But if you lived in Ohio you would have too.  When Papa and Mama Monster caught on they did what any sensible parents would do, they gave The Monster to a 5’7, 250 pound champion bodybuilder and trainer and told him to teach The Monster the meaning of words like commitment and structure and discipline by making him lift very heavy objects repeatedly.  The Monster would argue he already knew the meaning of those words but nonetheless…

His name was Nick and you’d find him at World’s Gym in a pair of black spandex tights and a sweatshirt every day of the year.  He was an absolutely huge African-American, insanely so in fact.  Which made his tiny, white Jewish sidekick (The Monster!) all the more laughably funny if you saw this pair in the gym together.

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