Let’s start out with the fantastic transvestite who announces when he walks in “don’t own no plane, took forevers to get here” as if anyone asked the question of where he had been or why he had not arrived sooner. At this point The Monster is midway through his meal at Wings World and this registers as perhaps only the third or fourth most interesting occurrence of the meal.
It all started with a jonesing for wings. And LA, sad wing world that it is, just doesn’t have a ton of truly special places to get your wing on. A little research and The Monster is off to Wings World on Venice near La Brea. It has all the charm of an oil change location and pretty much the same smell. Still, the woman behind the counter is super-super friendly and the sign outside says “Best wings in town.” Surely, that sign couldn’t lie? Also, there is a sign outside that says in order from top to bottom “Salad” “Chef” “Tuna” “Chicken” “Garden” “Grill Chicken.” It doesn’t make a whit of sense and that adds to the crazy “ambiance” you’ll find at Wings World.
So order at the counter from the myriad selection of wing flavors (mild, medium, hot, volcano, lemon pepper, honey BBQ, garlic, teriyaki, naked) and decide if you want a combo that’ll come with crinkle fries and a drink. Don’t ask for a glass of water because they don’t serve those. You must buy bottled water or drink soda fountain drinks. Water is verboten here.
You’ll take a seat in one of the sadder dining areas around and watch the television in the corner on ESPN. A homeless woman might come in asking if she can have one wing. A city employee yells loudly to the staff about new ordinances for street vendors that they don’t care about. A transvestite ambles in and is fabulous.
You’re food arrives, half medium wings, half lemon-pepper along with the fries and a few packets of ketchup and with every bite you take you feel worse and worse about yourself. Not because the food is bad, mind you it’s doing the trick, but because you are eating wings here. And because you can feel yourself getting puffier and puffier with each bite.
Still, every once in a while chicken wings are delicious and the fries, while frozen, are nicely seasoned and so you slog through the whole thing. Surprisingly, the lemon-pepper hold their own and both are wonderfully crispy and fried. The nice lady behind the counter even gives you a second water for a dollar off, holding your hand as she gives you the change back and looking as if it is your secret to share forever.
As you leave the transvestite has just gotten his meal and eats it with lip-smacking happiness. You lock eyes on the way out, his face smeared with wing sauce and ecstasy, and it is a wonderful shared moment in LA.
Why go? So few options.
Monster rating: 3/5 Monsters
5109 Venice Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA 90019