Mill City Tavern at the Minneapolis Airport is the latest attempt by The Monster to find edible food while traveling. Fail.
The minestrone soup is fine. Boring but fine. The black bean burger less so. It is pretty much just smushed black beans with some gloopy sauce on top of a crumbly piece of cornbread. Meh. It is the slaw that needs to be arrested.
The slaw is so fucking vile as to make The Monster believe that whoever came up with the recipe is laughing at anyone who attempts to eat it. It just might be the worst thing The Monster has eaten so far this year.
It is so bad in fact that The Monster sees just how much he can eat before he thinks he will vomit. That is exactly two and half forkfuls.
He does not vomit. Instead he spends the next hour wondering if he tried to find something that tasted worse where would it happen and what would it be? The Monster has a long list of foods he doesn’t eat for one reason or another but nothing really makes him feel as gross/icky/weirded out as this slaw.
The next issue is what exactly is wrong with it? What makes it just so filthy? The Monster, try as he might, cannot exactly pinpoint it. It tastes both like everything in it has gone bad and like it is transmitting some as yet unknown but fatal disease aliens have brought down to earth to wipe us out.
So, Mill City Tavern, thank you for help in propagating the notion that airports are cesspools of distaste.
Why go? Layovers.
Monster rating: 1/5 Monsters
Minneapolis-St. Paul Airport
Concourse G, near Gate 17