The Monster reserves a special place of hatred in his heart for the 3rd Street promenade. Having once worked at Wilshire and Second he was forced to walk its tourist infested streets far to many times for his liking. There is a special breed of restaurant on the 3rd Street Promenade. That’s poor food and shoddy service. Since you know someone from Kalamazoo isn’t coming back what does it really matter?
And then Hummus Bar Express had to go and open smack dab in the middle of hell and The Monster found himself parking in one of those horrible structures on level 76942 and walking past people making balloon animals and a singer doing bad Dylan covers and some homeless people having very animated conversations with themselves. And it was all worth it.
The menu is pretty typical, shawarma and kabobs, some schnitzel and hummus, some falafel and salads. Order at the counter and wait for a few (excruciating) minutes either inside or on the patio and you will be rewarded with this:
That’s a chicken shawarma sandwich on laffa. There’s some pickles in there. And French fries. And hummus. And why not throw in some amba-pickled mango while you’re at it. That’s right, you rock it like that.
To say that it is marvelous is a disservice to the word. And while it’s not cheap ($10.99) and not terribly healthy (660 calories) it is rather large and will leave you feeling full for much of the day.
And so you too will soon be walking the promenade in search of deliciousness. The Monster apologizes.
Why go? You are from Kalamazoo.
Monster rating: 4½/5 Monsters
1333 3rd Street
Santa Monica, CA 90401