Monthly Archives: August 2012

HAIKU REVIEW: GJELINA

Crispy duck confit

Grilled East coast squid with lentils

A glass of Rose’

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REVIEW: SHOOP’S EUROPEAN DELI

The Monster is having a conversation about Main Street eateries and the mention of Shoop’s European Deli reminds him it’s been years since he’s walked in the door.

So, that very day he decides to stop by for some dinner.  It’s The Monster, four policeman and “I Will Survive” playing on the radio.  With only a smattering of tables (that would be four plus two high tops, now you know the definition of smattering) Shoop’s is more a grab and go option for most.

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REVIEW: SOCIAL

Why oh why is Wheel of Fortune playing at Social?  You aren’t hip nor cool with this on by the bar.  You’re exposed pipes and mismatched floors can’t hide what you are at the core, a trying desperately to be swank restaurant in a sadly dying city.

That’s the bad news.  Well, that and you don’t take reservations and there is always, most definitely a wait.  And the service is hinkey.  On to the good news, for there is good news afoot…

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REVIEW: SLOW’S BAR B Q

This is the joint.  Ever since the Detroit Rock City trip was in the works a stop at Slow’s Bar B Q became a 100% certainty.

All the mentions of decor and service and blah blah takes a backseat for a sec.  Because here is The Monster’s monster order…

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REVIEW: RONIN

Where The Monster is from we sing a song called “We Don’t Give a Damn About the Whole State of Michigan.” Because Ohioans hate, loath, despise the evil state and won’t even say aloud the filthy name.  Only once have two states in our union gone to war against each other.  In that skirmish Ohio rolled mightily over the soft state and we held on to Toledo.  Granted, Toledo isn’t worth fighting over but it’s ours damnit.  So, The Monster finds himself in enemy territory and starving himself until he leaves is out of the question (it’s been seventeen minutes between meals, the shakes are coming).

Yellowtail sashimi, hot crab hand rolls, salmon rolls, cha cha rolls, hot crawfish rolls, albacore tataki, cucumber sunomono, lettuce cups with miso black cod, sea monster rolls, tuna “burgers” with fries, tuna pizza.  That’s the call at Ronin Sushi in Detroit.

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HAIKU REVIEW: CAFE GRATITUDE

***

Café Gratitude?

More like Café Attitude.

Just don’t get this place.

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REVIEW: B1 BREADSHOP

Just off Abbott Kinney sits B1 Breadshop, a brand new bakery specializing in baguettes, croissant, desserts, teas and coffee.

The Monster stops in for a few sandwiches for a beachside picnic lunch.

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HAIKU REVIEW: CHINOIS ON MAIN

Holy 80’s Decor!

Chinois on Main, still delish.

Expensive for sure.

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LOS ANGELES FOOD AND WINE FESTIVAL: DELICACY DINNER

With the Los Angeles Food & Wine Festival in the rearview mirror, The Monster looks back at the Delicacy Dinner Friday evening at the Montage Hotel sponsored by DFS.

As the ‘99 Palmes d’Or Champagne flows (wonderful) and appetizers make the rounds (hit or miss), the crowd looks horrendously plain and boring.  The event is filled with…people who plunked down $500 a ticket for what may be a gourmet wedding meal.  Luckily, The Monster was a gracious recipient of a gifted pass so it’s easy for him to be so effortlessly glib.

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REVIEW: ISLANDS

Sometimes you do things for love.  Like watch romantic comedies and eat bon bons on a Friday night.  Or say “you look great in that honey” when really you wonder what the hell she is thinking.  And then there is eating at Islands.

So the Monsters have a longstanding Monday lunch date and we’re passing by Islands on our way to a more civilized lunch when Mrs. Monster has a pang of nostalgia (small stroke perhaps?) and swings a u-turn into the Islands parking lot.

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