The Monster hates eating at airports. Try as he might he can’t help but imagine the kitchen’s are mange infested wastelands populated by fellas who couldn’t get jobs as prison cooks. Let’s be honest, no chef would willingly choose the airport as their launching pad to success. Transient fliers more interested in economy of time than culinary delight who will never return are coupled with the hassle of actually getting yourself and your ingredients into the restaurant. And why should servers even care? Mostly they don’t. Losing proposition 101.
Enter Perry’s at SFO. It’s airport ugly and the clientele is desperately sad. But The Monster is hungry and his flight is delayed.
What won’t kill The Monster is his first thought as he peruses the menu. Tomato soup (a creamy variety with chicken stock) seems harmless enough to start.
Crab sliders with a house salad is a risky call for the entree but The Monster decides that proves a better option than salmon or chicken. Frying crab kills all possibility of it transmitting weird diseases, no?
The soup is fine. It’s tomatoes and cream and while it won’t win any awards it’s not a terrible version of the classic. Mostly it’s hot. That’s good enough.
A little lemon and Tabasco kills off the slight fishy taste of the crab sliders and The Monster hasn’t sprouted any odd appendages or vomited black bile (yet). Not exactly a ringing endorsement to be sure.
The salad appears normal. But like the Bates Motel appearances are deceiving because this salad is vile. It tastes like sweaty gym shoes. It is disgusting on a plate. As research The Monster continues to eat it to see how long a human can eat sweaty gym shoe. It is four bites. File that for future reference. If you like eating sweaty gym shoe with a side of regret have at it.
So, if you are stuck in Terminal 1 (and you are stuck, none of the terminals connect to each other) at SFO and seek sustenance there is Perry’s. Or a brown bag lunch. There is also your own arm. Tough choices must be made.
Why go? Layovers and desperation.
Monster rating: 1½/5 Monsters
San Francisco International Airport
Terminal 1- Gate 42
San Francisco, CA 94128