Bananas are gross. They taste bad. They smell repugnant. They have a weird texture. Monkeys love bananas. Humans should not. Kids pretend bananas are telephones. They aren’t. Also kids, we should talk about Santa.
When someone is mentally unwell we call them bananas. Still want to eat one? Banana Republic is not a good clothing store. Bananas however is a great Woody Allen film. So there is that.
Here’s where things get weird. Banana bread. Love it. Plantains. Awesome. Bananas in smoothies. Sure. Banana flavored candy. Yep. Bananas Foster. Yea, can even do that. Banana cream pie. !!!!
There are websites devoted to pictures and video of women eating bananas. The Monster did spend a few minutes looking at them. All in the name of research.
Muslim countries have decided women should not eat bananas. Or cucumbers. Or carrots. Because that might lead to…well nevermind.
So while you unpeel your mealy, mushy, rotten banana The Monster will instead enjoy his…banana pudding.