So The Monster is lucky enough to be one of the judges at the Bahamas International Film Festival which gives him an opportunity to try some true island food. Like Nobu.
Bahamian lobster cocktail, king crab and cauliflower with jalapeno salsa, shishito peppers, soft shell crab roll, cucumber roll and spicy tuna are the order on this evening. While the space is hip the crowd is reject Kansas wearing outfits from Forever 21 even though they are 45.
Serenaded by the casino slots right outside the door. Lovely. It’s a smidge of LA in the Bahamas and right beside Club Aura for when you are shitfaced and feeling creepy.
These shishito peppers are salt and then more salt. Wedding ring might end up killing The Monster once circulation is cut off.
The lobster is fresh but not quite on par with what one should expect given the tariff on this dish. An almost forty dollar entree should wow, not leave one feeling a bit underwhelmed.
Same can be said for the soft shell crab roll which is fine but is so weakly put together as to fall apart as you eat it. Actually, you just stare at it menacingly and it falls apart. Nobody can mess up a cucumber roll (The Monster needs some veggies in his diet) and these are just as boring as they sound.
King crab and cauliflower is sent back. It is as filthy as the unflushed toilet The Monster encounters in the bathroom.
The spicy tuna roll is made during the Nixon administration but served to us today. It also ends up in the reject pile.
Chocolate sponge cake and a ridiculously bad green tea ice cream is the “birthday dessert.” Granted, The Monster’s birthday is a few days past but his friends are kind enough to remember.
If this is Nobu please kill The Monster now.
Why go? You love leopard print tights.
Monster rating: 1/5 Monsters
Atlantis Resort, Paradise Island, Bahamas